A New Take on Little House on the Prairie with Dwayne Fry’s Sarah With The Black Hoodie and Other Rotten Tales

Sarah With The Black Hoodie and Other Rotten Tales by Dwayne Fry
Sarah With The Black Hoodie and Other Rotten Tales is a book of humorous short stories by Dwayne Fry

My ultimate goal in life is to read everything Dwayne Fry has written. But my “therapist” (that voice inside my head that I feed Port wine and Wheat Thins) says, “Baby steps, Shoshanah. One book at a time.” Most recently, I read Dwayne Fry’s book, Sarah With The Black Hoodie and Other Rotten Tales. And, honestly, I didn’t even finish it. I was just so taken with the first story that I had to write a blog post about it.

For those who have never read Dwayne Fry, the thing to know is that he is king of the short story.  And then the other thing to know, not about Fry but about me, is that I have read Little House on the Prairie out loud a few times. I live in Wisconsin, where the original Little House in the Big Woods is set. This really kindles our imaginations here abouts, especially for the younger folk.

And the thing I’ve learned, reading the Little House books out loud, twice over? Don’t think about it too hard, or you’ll realize that “Pa” is a freaking crazy dude, not right in the head, that his wife is his slave, that he makes his family pick up and leave, every time life gets almost bearable. And why? Why do they have to move again? Across the tundra? Why do they have to build a new house and start all over again? Well, Pa thought there were too many people. Or Indians. Or something. 

Which brings us back to Dwayne Fry. The first tale in Sarah With The Black Hoodie and Other Rotten Tales is a parody of Little House on the Prairie. Apparently, I was not the only one who read the Little House books and thought Pa was a jerk. And that makes me happy. Very happy. And it’s a good parody. I laughed out loud, as they say. A lot.

I suppose I should read the whole book before writing a review, but you know what? It’s 99 cents. Just that first story is worth 99 cents.

 Thank you, Dwayne a Fry. I no longer feel alone in thinking Pa was a freak. 

The Creature Has No Gender, and That Is Good

unicorn sheep thing
unicorn sheep thing
Mr. (or Mrs.) WhatsIt Currently Resides at the Cat and Crow Yarn Shop in Mount Horeb, Wisconsin

 

I visited the Cat and Crow yesterday, and Rebekkah had a question about my most recent art work displayed there,

“We were discussing whether this is a male or a female creature,” she said. “It does have a mustache, but it is also wearing lace, and there is something feminine about it. Then someone said that the dwarf women in Lord of the Rings sometimes have mustaches, so perhaps you were thinking like that?”

To which I replied,

“I don’t think we need to impose our sys-gender societal norms on this art piece. It is neither male nor female. We don’t need to think thoughts in that limiting paradigm of male/ female. The Whatsit simply is what you wish it to be.”

 

I felt very deep and artsy and stuff. Mostly, though, it just has a mustache and lace because I like mustaches, and I like lace. And that is all. But perhaps that is just a different way of saying the same thing?

I’ve been working with fantasy author Alex Bledsoe, and the result is something beautiful.

Tufa Coloring Book
Hey, all of you coloring book fans! I just made a beautiful book of pictures for you to color, based on the fantasy novels of Alex Bledsoe. This is the official coloring book of the Tufa, folks! Based on the four Tufa novels and a short story. For those not reading outstanding fantasy fiction, it is simply a book of beautiful pictures of forests and fairies and magic happening in very air itself. For those who are Alex Bledsoe fiction fans, you may just have died and gone to Cloud County.
Tufa Coloring Book
Purchase at tinyurl.com/tufacolor

Birds in Beards Coloring Book: A love story.

A Great Book

tinyurl.com/birdsinbeards

birds in beards

“You may think it’s nice, and you may think it’s weird, but beware of the man with a bird in his beard.”

So begins a ridiculous saga, a love story which includes 30+ portraits of men with beards and the birds who love them. Color in the beard strands (which are like spaghetti in many of the pictures) and the intricate feathers of the many different birds, or just enjoy the silly rhymes about a love gone wrong, due to overzealous bird care.

This book appeals to all ages, though the coloring is probably too detailed for young children.

Featuring actual portraits of real men with beards, including:
1. Matt Krueger (with a Lazuli Bunting in his beard)
2. Evan Skov (with generic birds in his car)
3. Victorio Piva (with a Falcon on his hand)
4. Mark Kessenich (with Barn Swallows in his beard)
5. Alex Bledsoe (holding an Owl)
6. Junior Jr. (with a Bird of Paradise)
7. Bryce Ziegler (with a Song Sparrow in his beard)
8. R.J. Dietrich (with Parrots and Alex the Cat)
9. Mike Mutant Goggles (with a Red Breasted Nuthatch)
10. Parisse Atkinson (with a choir of Swallows on his arm)
11. Jeffrey Ksul (with Hummingbirds)
12. Ben Boyce (feeding Great Herron chicks from his mouth)
13. Andrew Ettinger (with a Finch in his beard)
14. Matt Evans (with an Owlet)
15. Michael Van Vleet (with a living Robin, and a dead Robin)
16. Brian D. Marohn (hugging a Sage Grouse)
17. Marcelo Moraes (with Chickens)
18. John Francis (with lots of Chickens)
19. Dwayne Fry (with a Turkey)
20. Sean Downing (with a Marsh Wren)
21. Chris Wagoner (with a Western Bluebird and a Gambel’s Quail)
22. Fellipe Santos (with Hanging Parrots)
23. Michael Mortensen (with a Penguin)
24. Bob Lee (with a Hummingbird)
25. Buck Samuel Dollars (with Storks)
26. Dan Constein (with a Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker)
27. Professor Batty (with a Peace Dove)
28. Jon Anders Ofjord (with a Swan)
29. Ryan Rysewyk (with a Gouldian Finch)
30. Charlie Kukuri (with Ostriches)
31. Marc Losenegger (with a Rose-Breasted Grosbeak)
32. Chris Hoppe (with Doves flying around his bike)
33. Z. Marohn (with an American Kestrel on her hand)

All Ages Coloring Contest

 

It’s an all ages coloring contest!

1. Print this beautiful picture of me and an exotic chicken.

2. Color this beautiful picture of me and an exotic chicken!

3. Take a snapshot of your beautiful work.

4. Post the picture to my Facebook page, facebook.com/shoshanahart  (if you don’t have Facebook, you can email it to cellar27door@yahoo.com).

5. Make sure you post it before February 29, 2016 at 5 PM Central.

6. The winner will be judged by me, Shoshanah!

7. The winner will get to have their coloring decorate the back cover of my upcoming coloring book, “Birds in Beards,” as the “author photo.” (Bwahahahahahaha!)

Anything goes, but pictures with hand coloring will be favored over computer fill-ins. For those who like realism: I am super white skinned, with pink and brown freckles (well, probably age marks, but we’ll say freckles), and my hair is an all natural mix of pink, blond, and grey. This is a Polish hen, and they range in color from violet, to brown and white, to white (for the lazy colorist), to black with a white head, to grey and brown mixed- they run the gamut. I highly recommend doing a google image search on “Polish Hen.”

Happy Coloring!

 All Ages Coloring Contest by Shoshanah Marohn