In high school, Jared was what Midwesterners call, “an odd duck.” He had long black hair and he wore a suit to school every day. He often carried a briefcase. The briefcase was like the Queen’s purse- what does he keep inside of it?
One evening, I went with my dad to his BBS club meeting at Pizza Hut. (If you don’t know what a BBS club was, look it up. I don’t have time to educate the world, here! Suffice to say that my dad and his friends invented the internet in the private meeting room at Pizza Hut in 1988. [You always wondered what went on in that private meeting room at Pizza Hut, didn’t you?]) I was just digging into my Veggie Delight Personal Pan Pizza, sitting at the long table with fifteen or so sexless teenaged computer geeks, plus my dad, (because he was cool like that,) when in walked Jared, with his three piece suit and his black pony tale and his briefcase. There was murmuring. He was not normally a part of this group. Also, he was late. Jared set his briefcase down in the middle of the table, opened it up, and took out a giant rubber squid and laid it in the middle, amongst the pitchers of root beer. A giant, translucent, rubber squid. And then he sat down and acted like nothing unusual had happened.
So that’s what he kept in the briefcase.
This story is neither here nor there, except that today’s drawing is a portrait of Jared. A very, very, very hungover Jared. He put a picture of his hungover self on the Facebooks on New Year’s Day, and I drew this from that.
I exaggerated the awfulness a bit. In real life, I believe Jared (like most humans) has a symmetrical face.