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If I had one of those minivans with stickers for all of my family members on the back window, including pets, I don’t think I would be able to see out the back window.

Last night, we had a wicked thunderstorm. It happened around one AM. I thought for sure the storm would cause Chyoko to finally have her lambs, but no go. Instead, the Zanimal had a crazy story to tell in the morning. 

Our two cats both love the Zanimal lots. They like sleeping with her. These days, Grenix sleeps with her. Last night, though, Tigery started missing the Zanimal. Tigery attacked Grenix in the middle of the night, over Zanimal in bed, during the thunderstorm.

Their attacks were vicious and noisy, and they coincided with the flashes and bangs of the thunderstorm. Every time they attacked each other in the night, over top of Zanimal’s body, the thunder clapped. Zanimal, in her half awake state, felt as if the cats were controlling the thunder. Every time the cats attacked, the thunder clapped. 

They were clearly the god and goddess of thunder.

Zanimal slept late this morning. She claimed something kept her up. 

There were no new lambs.

Our chest freezer broke last week, and the refrigerator broke this week- this week, when I was supposed to butcher chickens. Coincidence? I think not. 

We bought a new freezer and a new refrigerator. This was the new refrigerator: 

And then… you have to wait 24 hours to stabilize the temperature. And then… 

The temperature stabilized at sixty degrees. In the freezer. On the day I was supposed to butcher chickens. 

Coincidence? 

Those chickens. Talking. Always talking. What are they talking about? I don’t know! I don’t speak chicken! All I know is, new refrigerators are supposed to make things cooler. And it didn’t. I mean, ten degrees cooler than the house. Basically, it wasn’t working. And I couldn’t butcher chickens. Because they would rot and we would all get salmonella and die. 

Coincidence? 

We got another refrigerator to replace the first one. The first one to replace the broken one. (Not the first one, really, that was the broken one.)

It looks like this: 

So different! So cool! 

It works, and you know what that means. Thirty-eight degrees inside the refrigerator. Those chickens’ days are numbered. 

Credit (or blame) goes to Professor Batty: 

Has anyone seen my arm? I left it around here somewhere…

UPDATE: DAN FOUND MY ARM! Thank you, Dan. 

I also found a soul on Amazon, but they are sadly out of stock right now. That’s too bad.  As an author, I could really use a soul! 

Image stolen from Retro-Revolution store in Madison. 

1. Leslie and Ann Perkins are like the friendship I wish I ever had with… someone.
2. They drink more than I do!
3. Andy is more unrealistic about his career than I am!
4. I will marry Ron. In my next life. When Parks and Rec is real and I am named Tammy. 
5. My daughter loves it so much, between that and watching farm animals, I don’t have to teach her a thing about the facts of life!
6. Chris also enjoys carob and berries as a dessert alternative, just like I do!
7. In my next life, I will be Donna.(Except of course my name will be a Tammy.)
8. April is really a daemon possessing Ron’s mind. I learned that from watching Legion. 
9. Gary/Larry/Jerry is so sweet. And a great artist. 
10. Enthusiasm is good. Leslie is the most enthusiastic person on fictional Earth. And that is a wonderful thing. 

Bonus: “There has never been a sadness that could not be cured by breakfast foods.”

Today is my birthday.

My husband used the neralnetworks app to make this picture of our cat, Grenix. I skipped the comics today. Sorry. 

Eighteen years ago today, Bad Ass Husband and I were planning on getting married, but we couldn’t, because we were both deadly ill with food poisoning from eating ice cream at the gas station in Westcliff, CO. Zanimal made the commemorative cake, this year. I think she did a nice job. It looks like puke. And ice cream. At the same time!