Who Didn’t Kill John Lennon

Uncle Dennis, that’s who.

Last week, I went on a road trip with Zanimal and BAH up to Niagara Falls, Canada, and then on to Jeanette, Pennsylvania (just outside of Pittsburgh). I have a lot of family on my dad’s side around Pittsburgh, so we were visiting the extended relatives, and we stayed with my Uncle, Dennis C. Lee. (Dennis used to live in San Francisco, when I was a kid. We even lived in the same flat on 28th Street, for a time: little me, Dennis, my dad, my Aunt Lou, Uncle David, and Bozo the Dog. Good times.)

Uncle Dennis is an artist and a musician, most famously a member of the 70’s punk band The Living Daylights.

Uncle Dennis still plays music and makes art. Zanimal and I even did an open mic with him (possibly to be posted later this week, if I can figure it out).

Dennis told us a story while we were there. Apparently, there is a man who believes that Dennis C. Lee killed John Lennon. This man, call him “Mr. Crazy,” bases his theory on an analysis of Uncle Dennis’s handwriting, which Mr. Crazy says is exactly like that of Stephen King. And therefore, Stephen King is really Dennis C. Lee. (Or Dennis C. Lee is Stephen King?) And he killed John Lennon. Just for a point of reference, here is a recent picture of my dad’s brother, Dennis C. Lee:

Dennis C. Lee, who didn’t kill John Lennon.

And here is a picture of Stephen King:

Famous Author Stephen King, who also did not kill John Lennon.

They don’t look alike, do they?

So, I’m not sure how Mr. Crazy goes from “handwriting like Stephen King” to “Stephen King a.k.a. Dennis C. Lee killed John Lennon,” but he does. And how do we know he does? Because Mr. Crazy painted it on the side of a van, and he drives his van around the country and hands out pamphlets, explaining it all to anyone who will listen.

I do not have the pamphlet.

In the scheme of things, this is a drop in the ocean of Uncle Dennis stories. Every time I have had a chance to verify an Uncle Dennis story, it’s turned out to be true. Some of the stories have approached us on the streets of San Francisco. It’s all true, except…

Uncle Dennis didn’t kill John Lennon. He was in San Francisco that day.

 

Addendum, Dennis writes: “That is correct, I did not kill John Lennon. Nor would I ever. I loved his music, his style, everything about him. But here’s when it gets really weird… There’s a conspiracy theorist that claims Stephen King, the famous writer, was the actual killer of the ex-Beatle. And strongly implies on a website that because my handwriting is similar to King’s, I might be King, and I might have shot him. This insane guy has held this belief for 36 years, since shortly after Lennon was shot. http://www.lennonmurdertruth.com/skletters.html

Shoshanah Marohn
Never miss a new book again! Sign up to get an email whenever Shoshanah Marohn releases a new book: http://eepurl.com/80kln

3 Comments

  1. That is hilariously batshit. You really can’t make this stuff up.

    You know, there’s also this conspiracy theory that Donald Trump is a time traveler, sent back in time using information handed down by Nikola Tesla.

    http://imgur.com/EVdeMRP?r

    What an age to be alive.

  2. I thought the kook who killed John Lennon was in prison, but now I have a suspicion that Mr Crazy was the culprit. Accusing others is a wsy of diverting attention from yourself, as every witch doctor knows.

Comments make the blogosphere go 'round.